The 2000m benchmark row

13 Oct 2024

Orange Theory had a 2000m benchmark row. It was my first time doing the challenge, and it was truly awful; I tried my hardest¹ and failed.

Everyone finished within the allotted time, everyone except me. The coach even gave me a few extra minutes, and I still could not complete the 2000m. Everyone lined up to record their time, but I was still on the rower. I had nothing to record; I felt so embarrassed. Surely, I wasn't that unfit — but there it was, hard evidence that indeed I was.

I moped about it all evening. "I didn't know I was that slow. I don't mind finishing last, but not finishing at all! I wonder if the rower was broken." I heard E respond, "You were just slow."

The next day, we went to class again. The rower I used had a note on it — “Service needed.” It turned out I didn't fail; I felt better. After class, I said to E, "You said I was slow! It turns out the rower was just broken!" He responded, "Hey, I never said that!"

He repeated his words from the prior evening. "That version of me inside you, you're going to divorce that guy, and I'm going to take the hit! I refuse to take responsibility for that imagined version of me!"

I laughed. So much of how we experience our lives is the story we tell ourselves, and I am an incredibly unreliable narrator. 🙃