Have the courage to suck at something (traded blog post)

19 Jun 2025

I traded blog posts with Kami and the title I received is: Have the courage to suck at something.

My first thought seeing this title was the film, The Little Prince, and the way my heart beat faster while watching the opening scene with the life plan. (I had to pause watching — it echoed my youth a little too much.)

My second thought was Enneagram Type 5 and these traits:

Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable

Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

Key Motivations: Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.

Then I told E the title and he laughed, "Your worst nightmare!"

All that to say: I am not the type of person who has the courage to suck at things.

I am the type of person who prefers to take up as little space as possible,³ and sucking at things is very much not the way to achieve this. To minimize how much I suck, I think and I plan a lot.² And when things don't quite go the way I imagined, I squeak and make weird sounds when I relive the moments (of perceived error) in my mind.

Despite my proclivity, I have learned to be more resilient:

• I have survived enough mistakes now to know that I'll continue surviving
• I surround myself with people who give me room to flail and fail
• I remind myself that it's okay: no one is thinking about me as much as I think about me
• I remember my own scale of joy⁴

But mostly, I just try to live my life as a comfortable little turtle: I go at my own pace.

🐢💨

—

The title I gave to Kami is: A list of things that have changed my life, i.e., things I’d enthusiastically recommend to others (if relevant). It's something I've been floating in my mind — and the first item on my list is, without contest, the menstrual cup.¹

If trading blog post titles sounds fun to you, contact me — I'd be happy to trade.