Things I envy others a little for (traded blog post)
I traded blog posts with Ava and the title I received is: Things I envy others a little for.
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Humm. I was just telling someone that envy is the one emotion I least identify with. But I am not one to reject traded topics (it's a fun challenge to string words together for something I otherwise wouldn't write about), so I've been reading about envy & seeing what comes to mind.
en·vy (ĕn′vē)
a. A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.1
Years ago a doctor initiated small talk by asking, "If you could change one thing about your life, what would you change?" "Nothing," I said. I was content. He was surprised — it was a question he asked often and I was the only one to respond with nothing.
Elle's reasoning in Legally Blonde comes to mind:
Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.
It echoes how I feel: Content people just don't envy others.
I am satisfied with my life and don't feel like I lack anything. There are certainly aspects of my life that could be improved, more things that I can have, some things that I'd do away with. But overall I like the person that I am, the lifestyle that I have, the company that I keep, and the work that I do. I like getting older. I also don't view my history negatively — since those steps led me to where I stand today. (I wouldn't change my past; I imagine even the smallest change would trigger a monkey's paw butterfly effect.)
At the risk of sounding self-helpy — and I'm not sure how it happened3 — I've somehow cultivated an abundance mindset4 and a focus on gratitude. I also spent a decade navigating self-hatred2 and came out of it with a deeper sense of intrinsic self-worth and self-compassion. It turns out these things play a large part in minimizing envy.
So, what more could I have? What would I do away with? What things do I envy others a little for? In order: a high metabolism; self-deprecation & motion sickness; I, too, would like to live off the interest from the wealth of the generations before me.
Incomplete thoughts: those travel-back-in-time reincarnation stories, maybe I lack ambition, but I'm also tired of endless striving, why not just chill
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The title I gave to Ava is: My personal canon. Ava is a prolific writer. Her writing is personal, confident, and opinionated — and I was curious to see her write on what has most shaped her worldview and thinking. I've written a My personal canon post too — it's still just a list at the moment, but I hope to add annotations (what they mean to me) eventually.
I remember my first assignment was to write a list of 10 things I liked about myself. My god, that was a herculean task. I think "my hands are pretty" was on the list. I had to make things up because I couldn't find enough things about myself to like. ↩
On second thought, I remember a teacher who may have sown a seed. ↩
I learned what an abundance mindset is from playing an MMO. ↩