This deplorable situation
I love snacks, I love Costco,1 and I love snacks from Costco.
We recently purchased a box of European cookies with Belgian chocolate. I was thrilled, but E was hesitant. He was concerned I'd eat the whole box of cookies myself,2 so we agreed to share the cookies and split them 50%. For every cookie I ate, he'd eat one too.
The first few cookies went as expected; when I wanted to eat one, I'd grab one for him too, and vice versa — we ate them together. The arrangement quickly devolved though since I woke up earlier than E. This meant that I would have my cookies first, tell him how many I ate later, and then he'd eat the same quantity.
In his words, "It's not, 'Oh, I want a cookie. Let's have a cookie together.' It's, 'Good morning, E. I ate four cookies — now you better catch up.' And I have to eat them so that you don't eat all of them." He was in the kitchen looking at the cookie box, relieved that there were only a few cookies left. "Soon we will be done with this deplorable situation." But then he realized that the box was deeper and examined it more closely. "There's another layer of cookies! We aren't even halfway done!"
I haven't seen him so exasperated in a long time. I can't eat a cookie without giggling now. 🤭